Nov 23, 2011

Thanksgiving Eve

Sitting here on the eve of Thanksgiving, 2011, I am trying to figure out what's missing.  And as I start working up the green bean casserole for feast number two tomorrow, it hits me.  Growing up, the evening before Thanksgiving was full of people - family, friends - really whoever showed up.  Folks from out of town showing up throughout the week, or perhaps late into the evening.  A variety of tasks being shared around my parent's large kitchen - peeling potatoes, peeling and cutting apples, stuffing celery, polishing silver.  They never seemed too much like tasks to me as they were filled with laughter, and stories, shared recipes, wine, and snacks.  (The wine came later for me - but I'll never forget the year in college when my cousin taught me her magic cramp cure - a beer and two Advil).  God bless my cousin for the cure, and god bless my liver for that combination!  (It works, but I'm no doctor so check with yours first - I'm pretty sure it is a bad idea!).  We would stay up late into the night, laughing, catching up, sneaking illicit cigarettes (pretty sure I don't recommend that one either), and then all pile into bed for a few short hours before getting up to get the final business of dinner prep done.  Dad often didn't really make it to bed - there was always his middle of the night cheesecake making to be done. 

Anyway, that's what I'm missing - as I sit in my house alone with my kittehs, getting ready to make blue cheese green bean casserole (you can find the recipe at closetcooking.com - I'll let you know how it turns out.) I'm missing my mom.  A lot.  And the laughter and camaraderie of family.  I'll get that tomorrow of course - in much smaller doses than years past, but tonight it is me and my memories. 

Anyway, I doubt I'll be posting tomorrow - we do after all have two Thanksgiving feasts to attend - the manmate's family at noon, and my family at 6.  There's a lot of eating, and hopefully laughing, to be done.  In the meantime I leave you with just a few of the things I am thankful for:

Memories,  family, friends, health, love, and a roof over my head.  Two sweet kitties who are sleeping side by side right now.  A part time job when many have none.  School.  The motivation to get that school done (please, I pray to keep that coming).  And y'all.  Just a short list that could and should take up pages. 

Nov 15, 2011

Fear

  • I fear the tired that has hit me. It's a sick tired.  Fatigue.  
  • I fear my house will never be clean again.
  • I fear that there is not enough time left in the semester to get it all done.
  • I fear that I want far more than I need.  
  • I fear that I'm whining too much here.  That is not the goal.

What's got you in a knot right now?

Nov 6, 2011

Losing

I keep losing things. 

  • I've lost my motivation a few times.  I keep a close check on it and try to get back as quickly as possible. 
  • Pens.  I have bought and lost approximately 1 billion pens since the semester started.  Where in the world are they?  Good pens, bad pens, hotel pens, dollar pens, conference pens....all gone.  Lost in some pen party that is not at the bottom of my purse. 
  • My mind.  Perhaps only temporarily - time will tell.  The telling part of losing my mind was when I've freaked out for days, worked on and off for days, and panicked a little tonight when a project wasn't coming together.  After all, it is due tomorrow at 9 am sharp.  So halfway through the project I decide to clarify a point in the assignment and pull up the instructions (not the first time today) and note that the due date is in fact the 14th.  1 week from today.  A combination of Livin' La Vida Loca, and Hallelujah started playing in my brain at that moment.  I broke the news to manmate - who I negotiated with to move our movie going date night to tuesday tonight, and then turned into a giggling mess.  Sigh.  
  • Sleep.  I lost a little sleep this week, which perhaps explains my previous point about my mind.  I stayed up late Thursday finishing a project, and then Saturday I traveled to Asheville with music and Beverlies on my mind.  I met up with some girlfriends, Dana, Jenny, and Megan, for a brainstorming session (great work ladies!), and then headed out with Jenny at Great Little Stories to listen to the band Big Daddy Love - if you ever get the chance to see them GO! You can also check out some of Jenny's pictures over at Dancing Lemur.  They're such great shots!  Great time had by all, but I'm a tad bit weary today.  Ok, maybe just slaphappy tired.  
Anyway, that's my lost things for today.  What have you lost lately?  

Nov 4, 2011

Can't Think

It's 1 am on a Friday, and I can't think.  I'm closing up a paper due tomorrow afternoon, and I can't seem to get there.  Now I know that I could just put it to bed for the night, and come back to it in the morning - I don't work tomorrow.  But, I can't seem to turn my brain off.  I feel like there's more to this paper, and I can't quite get to it.  Like an itch you're just not able to scratch.  And I keep thinking about creativity, and how I miss it right now while I'm in school.

Want to read a cool post on creativity?  Head over here for some interesting thoughts on creativity.  The author is a pretty cool banjo player too, so if you're into that check out some of his early posts to find some tunes.  Anyway, back to creativity.  I've let (willingly) school take up most of my creativity right now.  It doesn't often feel creative, but it does take most of my creative juice to keep up with the output required.  I'm doing well, and I'll be honest with you - that fact surprises the hell out of me every single time a paper comes back to me with an A.  Every time.  Will that wear off?  Will the fear of hitting the submit button on a paper wear off? 

I've caught the procrastination bug a bit this week and I'm trying to get rid of it.  And in perfect timing inspiration comes my way - this guy named Sam Spurlin that I follow on Facebook posts a link to an article that he falls back on when he's procrastinating.  And it's sage advice in my opinion - so take another minute to check that out, OK?  The link is to an article at 43 Folders, and I think you'll enjoy it.  The link is here.   And really it tells you that the number one rule is to care.  It tells you more than that really but that's the takeaway for me.  Mmm-kay? 

In other news I'm continuing on my quest to pare down my Google Reader subscriptions.  And I've finally taken off the facebook apps that allow me to waste hours playing really dumb games.  Because they do appeal to part of my brain, but really I need that part for other things.  In the next few weeks I plan to revisit my list of 34 Things. To be honest it has been far too long since I've reviewed the list.  Jane at The Borrowed Abode goes over her progress on her 33 list (young'un!)  in a post she put up this week.  And man she's done well!  In other words, I need to take stock.  After all I have about a month and a half until I'm at the halfway mark for the year.

What are you thinking about right now?  Have you taken stock lately?  Are you feeling creative, worn out, or just flat out frustrated? I'm curious - let me know.  And let me know if think links I dropped were of value.  Have a great week!

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